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Oh, dear Larry Fink, the elusive puppet master of BlackRock, has finally spilled the beans at the prestigious World Economic Forum in Davos! In a revelation that could make even the most cunning Bond villain blush, Fink boldly declared, “You have to FORCE behaviors. At BlackRock, we are FORCING behaviors.” Move over, subtle persuasion; it’s time for financial brute force!

BlackRock, the not-so-secret overlords of every major corporation, have apparently adopted a new approach to management– forget corporate strategy, let’s just FORCE things! It’s like a corporate boot camp, where CEOs do push-ups until they comply with BlackRock’s globalist agenda. Who knew that investment management could be so … assertive?

But what’s their secret weapon, you ask? ESG– the magical acronym that stands for Environmental, Social, and Governance criteria. To receive a single penny from the mighty BlackRock, companies must meticulously check all the “green,” “diversity,” and “equity” boxes. It’s like a corporate version of a kindergarten report card, only with higher stakes and significantly less finger painting.

And let’s not forget the benevolent guidance of the globalist gatekeepers, who use ESG as their divine rulebook. Want financial backing? Better have a spotless ESG score. It’s corporate communism at its finest, making sure everyone dances to the same climate change tune– a melody that apparently leaves ordinary people poorer year after year. Bravo, global elite, bravo!

Enter Sri Lanka, the star pupil with a spectacular ESG score of 98%. The globalist elite promised riches beyond imagination, but what happened next? Cue dramatic drumroll– Sri Lanka spectacularly imploded! Forget prosperity; they got ecomonic ruins instead. A shining example that techno-communism doesn’t exactly come with a guarantee of success. Who could have seen that coming?

So here’s to BlackRock, the unsung heroes of forced behaviors and the undisputed champions of ESG puppetry. May their forceful ways lead us all down the path of compliance, because nothing says progress like a globalist agenda and a corporate boot camp!

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