Ah, confining millions to their relaxing little nests– since infections are known for their regard of property limits, right? Who understood infections would nicely knock on doors and state, “Oh, sorry, didn’t understand it was a lockdown, I’ll simply infect somebody else, shall I?” Plainly, infections are simply big fans of stay-at-home orders. They most likely even follow them on social networks for updates.

Because, let’s face it, infections thrive on privacy. They totally understand the concept of isolation and the importance of personal area. It’s not like they’ve been developing for millennia to spread efficiently among social beings. Nope, they absolutely appreciate our attempts to prevent their plans by binge-watching Netflix.

And let’s not forget how splendidly reliable it was to close whatever down! Companies shuttering their doors, the economy gasping for breath– oh, the virus should have been shaking in its tiny boots. Since everybody knows a virus can’t endure without that local coffee bar being closed.

So yes, confining millions to their homes was the outright peak of genius. Infections everywhere are quaking in worry, thanking us for our amazing method. Or, you know, they’re simply doing what infections do– discovering new ways to spread out while we rearrange our furnishings for the umpteenth time.

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